Let me put it out straight now, the best way to ease the tension during an argument is to avoid the argument but it’s not possible you’d argue.
Now, this post is for every married couple, family, parents and most importantly new couple.
Let’s face it argument will come up once in a while but it doesn’t make it a good thing but again it’s manageable.
Like I always say, we all have different approach to things including family affairs but these are practical methods that I’ve used and works for me.
Think before you talk: argument is really tempting and it’s very easy to drops words and most easy to drop bad, provocative, aggressive, annoying words but take your time to think of what you want to say before saying it. Will I win this argument if I say this, if it becomes an issue can I say I said it? If not, don’t say it.
Drink water: no, I’ve not forgotten what I’m writing about and yes water works for me. During an argument, I’m likely to be dehydrated especially when voices are going up so I tell myself I need water. This is it, you don’t want to be choking on your words, makes it sound like you’re sure of yourself, now get water, take it in three gulps and calm down. By now, you’d be more relaxed and your brain more settled to be reasonable.
Sit down: if you were not standing during an argument then don’t stand, if you were, sit down. When you stand, it feels like you’re assuming a violent position and the other person might get angry and verbally defensive. You don’t want things escalating because of your position so sit.
Don’t shout: it’s an argument not a fight so don’t make it one and don’t tell the other person to stop shouting, most people don’t like it. If you feel the other person is beginning to raise his/her voice then let them be.
Don’t talk: this should be my number 1, let me tell you, when hubby and I disagree on an issue and it’s becoming an argument I just keep mute till everyone is OK then we can talk about it later calmly. It’s my best technique
Think love and count : it works for real. Think of your favorite thing about the other person and count to 10 (you can shake/wave your leg while doing that, it’s allowed) then think of your next favorite thing count again continue till you stop shaking your leg, breathe out and let go till you’re ready to talk like adults and not argue.
The winner of the argument is the person that stays calm first so always aim to win, I always want to win because when I win he apologizes first.
Did you enjoy this post, then drop your comments and how you handle arguments with your spouse. I’d love to learn from you.